Location: Iranian Consulate. Kuala Lampur, Malaysia.
Pro tip: Dress to Impress. (aka get with the hijab program)
Me (in my head): You have 24 hours. Hand me that visa!
Consulate officer (a young lady): I cannot guarantee next day collection…
She reads the list of countries I’ve visited. This includes USA, UK and UAE. It should have sent a gazillion alarm bells ringing….
A huge smile spreads across her face.
Is this your first visit to Iran?
Bale! I’m finally going! (in my ‘very excited’ voice hoping to floor her) Yek darkhwast een ast ke…. I have to return to Singapore tomorrow so please see if you can help. Lotfan!
15 nerve-wracking minutes later.
Come tomorrow to collect.. after 10am.
Khaili mamnunam khanum!
Lady sitting next to me begins to rant in Persian about her token number and the impossible number of people before her turn. In response, I shake my head.. gesture at the screen displaying the various counters and the token numbers being attended to… point to my ticket… and state the number of people before me in Persian.
After 5 minutes, she turns to me and continues to pile her grief on me at top speed… sigh.
I concede defeat, interject and declare my ignorance.
“Oh, you look Persian! So sorry. I kept talking to you thinking you were!”
“Wow. First time anyone’s told me that! (read as “You’ve made my day!”) I did understand the gist of what you said… And I did gesture and give monosyllabic replies… so umm… it’s not your fault!”
October 25, 1 am. Kochi International Airport (CIAL), India.
Why are you going to Iran? What is the ‘visit’ for? Who are you visiting? Who are these ‘friends’?
Molayyy….. what work do you do? (Grrr… the next time I hear ‘molay’)
October 26, 07.30 am. My first glimpse of Iran. Arid, dry, rugged mountains.
October 26, 9 am. Imam Khomeini International Airport (IKA), Tehran.
Flirty immigration officer. Giggling away to himself.
ZERO. ZILCH. NADA. NOTHING.
True story: My first 15 minutes in Iran and chances are I appeared in the national sports news bulletin.
No clue which games these young athletes were returning from… but it was lovely to see them being celebrated in one space – well, specifically, at the baggage claim area. As it turned out, there was no other way to exit but to walk right through them and in all the camera frames as they were being interviewed.
Whoop de doo.